No matter your sexual orientation or gender, getting down and dirty for the first time can be a little daunting. Many people can feel under pressure to âget it rightâ when they lose their virginity, or want it to be âperfectâ. Luckily, Lovehoney is here to take the edge off.
Although this guide to cherry-popping will focus a little more on penetrative sex, itâs important to know that sex doesnât have to involve internal action to be valid. Your fun sexual experiences count, no matter how you do it (or each other!).
Preparing for sex and knowing what to expect can help make sure your âfirst timeâ is a positive and safe experience for both you and your partner. Itâs time for some new adventures!
Before you have sex
When it feels like the stars are aligning for you to have sex for the first time, itâs normal to feel a little bit worried. Especially if youâre not really sure what youâre âinâ for! However there are a lot of things you can do to mentally prepare for sex.
The most important thing at this stage is managing your mindset. Itâs easy to worry about how âgoodâ youâll be, but the fact is, no-oneâs an expert in anything the first time they do it!
Instead of focusing on creating fireworks and the perfect fairy tale moment, your introduction to intercourse should simply be about having a positive and safe experience. Keeping this in mind while youâre getting ready to have sex for the first time will help take a bit of the stress off.
Get New Schooled
You may have done some sex ed stuff at school, but letâs be honest, itâs probably not enough to help you feel totally ready. After all, âsex tips for beginnersâ isnât normally covered!
Luckily thereâs plenty out there for you to read and watch, which can help you prepare for popping the proverbial cherry.
Firstly, it may be tempting to start watching porn, notebook in hand. Itâs important to know however that porn often doesnât give a realistic impression of what sex is actually like, and that a lot of the âtechniquesâ porn actors use are for the camera – not for intimacy.
Reading erotica, on the other hand, can help benefit your blossoming sex life. Erotica can help you find out more about what turns you on, what doesnât, and make you feel more relaxed about the idea of having sex.
Another thing that can make sex for beginners a little less scary is feeling like you know what youâre doing. As before, no-one is an expert first time, and like most things sex takes practice! Spend some time learning about what your âerogenous zones are and how to stimulate them, why foreplay is so important, how to give a blow job, or how to go down on a person with a vulva.
If your first time is going to involve anal, our guide to anal sex for beginners will give you low-down on getting, well, down low.
Pleasure yourself
Before you have sex for the first time, it helps to already have an idea of what you like, and what feels good for you. Take some time to explore your body – a solo play session never did anyone harm!
If you have a vulva and you are planning on having sex for the first time with someone with a penis, it may benefit you to experiment with the feeling of insertion. Try playing with an internal vibrator, such as a rabbit. There are loads of different types to choose from, which can be a little bit intimidating! Luckily, our Lovehoney sexperts are on hand to explain all about how to use rabbit vibrators, and what makes them so great:
Attribution: Lovehoney
